Mess Inc.

Woah! Life's moving way too fast right now. Today, or rather, yesterday was one of those blink-and-you-miss days with so much happening all around.
Anyway, more about that later.
As I went to college to complete the rather painstaking hostel formalities with Mallu (theek hai, for your sake I won't reveal your true identity and your misadventures with that pink slip!), along with the hundred buck worth hostel brochure(and its gibberish) which we had to buy knowing fully well that it was all but someone's diligent work on the control c's and control v's, we were handed out a rather interesting piece of paper(unwittingly so by the clerk). Err.. don't know, it said something, it was something for the people who had taken the hostel for the first time.

Read on-

"Where else would the noun glutton be best suited to the scrawniest guy in your class? Where else would you find such a fine assortment of delectable dishes waiting to be downed? Where else would you wait for that long walk from your hostel to the mess in the senior hostels like you hadn't eaten for years?

Laced with 'pure' desi ghee and atta from the most expensive chakki in the neighbourhood, and the choicest onions and cucumbers from the college nursery, you are sure to have many presumptions about the quality of food served in the mess at engineering colleges shattered, here at the DCE hostel mess! Right from those tables with a rose each and those beautifully crafted chairs (albeit in plastic!) to the fine looking guys who serve you with utmost glee, you are sure to love your time at the mess.

Now lets just get you started with the mouth-watering delicacies we have on offer for our dear students, you being the latest addition to that distinguished army of strong and healthy engineers we churn out each year!

Monday, the day which gets you started with a new week of possibilities and opportunities, holds in store for you Vada and Upma, arguably the best of its kind. Beans from the French farms reach you, blanched and steamed, with a tinge of homegrown chilly and garlic to satiate that huge stomach of yours. Rajma chawal, way better than the one your mum cooks at home, waits for you at night time.
Tuesday provides you with the opportunity to taste the best Mess Inc. has to offer, the famed Aloo de paranthe aur Shahbad dairy da makhan..So sumptuous are these over-sized atta saucers overladed with aloo fry that you're sure to be found in the queue at eight in the morning even if you're generally there just five minutes before your first lecture. Due to the heavy nature of this dish, and our inability to find enough takers for our Hydrabadi Biryani with rice from the granaries of the Nizam himself, we have decided to shut the mess during lunchtime. However, chana and puri await you at night, ready to leave you smacking your lips.
Some peoples' favourite bird is butter chicken. And not keen on disappointing our customers with a distinct interest in birds, we have an 'unlimited' supply of butter chicken gracing the tables on Wednesday. Although, we must add, 20 rupees would be charged for an extra helping! For those of our patrons who suffer with Ornithophobia, we have lentils cooked in tomato sauce with a tinge of masala, commonly known as dal makhani.. but as dal makhi-wali here as we, noble beings do not believe in discrimination and strongly believe that Wednesday must be one dedicated to the non-veggies.
Thursday takes you to the Panju-land. Aqua-pao bhaji, a special variation owing its origin to us will leave you licking your fingers early in the morning. In having a heady concoction of water and bhaji, it takes care of your daily needs of water! Who cooks aloo gobhi? We do, and we do it the best to warrant complete customer satifaction! To take care of your well-being we also serve soya-bean and curry (a mixture of unknown ingredients which gives a mysterious taste, enough to satisfy the taste-buds of those who particularly have a liking for cockraoches).
Keeping to our promise of serving food with a difference, Chinese chowmein with copious amounts of Indian masala is sure to please you on Friday. Also, to give a well-deserved rest to our hard working team of chefs and waiters dedicated to serve you in times of need and greed, we provide you with the opportunity of getting a taste of things outside.
All meals are accompanied with one of the many dals we have to offer- red, light green, grasshopper green, dirty green, black, pale yellow, dark yellow, orange and brown, we have it all. Choose your colour!"

Looks like there is even more to look forward to come August the 1st.
Till then, make hay while the sun shines!

Adios!

Please note- This account is purely a work of fiction and any resemblance with actual events is just a matter of 'coincidence'! :P