Revolution.

I return after a long hiatus. A lot has changed since I last opened blogger. In my life as well as in that of the world and this country. Everyone is aware of what happens in the world. This is the age of those who live life in the fast lane, after all. And no one gives a rat's ass about how everything's shaping up in the Beanp_ole's life. So I'm not going to do what all returning-bloggers do, rant about how they were naive when they entered college and how they're now guided by Prometheus' fire itself.

This is going to be about the Lokpal Bill and is directed towards two rather disjoint sets of people:

1. Those who support the anti-corruption movement without understanding it.

To be counted as one of the many who belong to this group of people, you need only have bought convenience from your local traffic policeman, local MLA(by voting for him in return), license tout, auto-driver, hostel attendant, college admin clerk or even your professor once in your life. Because for every Government official accepting a bribe, there's a civil society member paying it. You don't need to embezzle funds to feed cattle that don't exist or buy licenses for providing telephonic services (that you can't support anyway) on the cheap to be called corrupt. And no amount of "liking" Facebook pages or signing online petitions can undo this.

I will feel that I've achieved something if this post goes on to explain the matter. Because in most cases you didn't care to read what the wiki page or the petition or the note your friend tagged you in actually said. I will, therefore, include links to some of the pieces that require reading.

2. Those who are ready to engage in a constructive debate without casting aspersions on the integrity or motive of others.

First things first, here is a draft of v2.1 of the Jan Lokpal Bill as proposed by members of the India Against Corruption movement as an overhaul of the variant presented by the Government.

Now, it wouldn't be fair to expect everyone to read that document in its entirety. This Scribd document provides an analysis of the Lokpal Bill. Also, here is a (much) shorter version of what the Jan Lokpal Bill proposes for those who bleed blue but don't.

The bill and the movement have inspired commentary and discussion in mainstream media and on social platforms. There is support as well as disagreement from all economic, political and social strata of the society.

Bloggers who support Anna Hazare's movement:

Why is Anna Hazare's 'misguided' fast important?
Why I am protesting, by fasting today...

Anna Hazare's fight against corruption! Why should you care?

MERA NETA CHOR HAI - Chetan Bhagat(Ok, this one was just for laughs and the put- badge-of-latest-fad-on-my-Facebook-profile brigade.)

Bloggers who are against the movement and/or the Lokpal Bill:

Of the few, by the few(Pratap Bhanu Mehta, the President of the Center for Policy Research)

Against the Jan Lok Pal and the politics of hunger strikes(Nitin Pai, for whom I have the utmost respect.)

On Anna Hazare's fast(Rohan Joshi, another objective columnist)

Jan Lok Pal - Caveat Emptor

Anna Hazare's misguided fast

A bill to end corruption? Really? Who are we kidding?

Anna Hazare, the Lokpal Bill and the Red Brigade

Bloggers who are undecided and/or provide other key inputs:

Dodging the drafts(PRS Legislative Research)
ENOUGH(B Raman, Director of the Institute for Topical Studies)

After reading through all this the main talking points appear to be the Gandhian philosophy of the movement(often termed coercive) and some of the clauses of the bill itself.

An increasing number of experts believe that the manner in which the movement is being carried out is undemocratic. Their argument is that while Gandhi was fighting against an imperialist power, the public today is trying to pressure a Government they voted to the helm themselves. Fair point. But so what? Should a Government, that has a post-election alliance as its foundation, be allowed to do as it pleases for its entire term? At the risk of being called an anarchist and/or an elitist, I ask, should politicians be allowed to have their own way just because most of the rural population that voted was given TV sets and in some cases, mixer grinders? A common rebuttal is "a people deserves the Goverment it gets". And this is where I disagree with Lincoln. Democracy is based on the false conviction that there are extraordinary capabilities in ordinary men. And honestly, is there no room for protest in a democratic India?

While I agree that the bill is not perfect in any way, it is downright stupid to rubbish it completely. The process of selecting the Lokpal, what needs to be done with the recovered losses are some issues that require greater deliberation. Amendments need to be made to the draft. Edges need to be smoothened. But the bill is closer to being a diamond than a piece of charcoal. The movement's spirit needs to be appreciated and other technicalities worked out so that it benefits everyone.

Finding a way to eradicate this malaise that afflicts the entire structure from top to down is of greater importance. And the inbuilt urge to buy convenience at the drop of the hat among most Indians is what makes this task tough (Sisyphean, as some might claim).

Most commentators who do not agree with Anna Hazare see 'voting for change' as the only solution to this problem. The carrot and stick treatment needs to be meted out. "Vote the corrupt out, every time, again and again until parties get the message. Vote!", as Nitin Pai says. This basically translates to UPA, BJP, UPA, BJP, UPA... I agree with that suggestion in all its spirit, but we live in a dystopian world where things rarely work out the way they should. Which brings me to some of the questions I want to ask them: Can the entire Indian polity just change the way it votes at the blink of an eye? And if it can, then why hasn't it happened already since we're all so progressive and insightful and well-meaning? How can someone bring fruit to this Arcadian fantasy(root out caste based voting, etc.), if given the responsibility and wherewithal?

Saying that India would have a better Government if everyone voted is like saying that India would be a member of the OPEC if everyone of us started working at an oil rig. That is how serious the lack of dependable leaders in our political system is.

In the hope that more informed gentlemen will give an amended bill a chance and progress will be made after the first steps have been taken, I rest my case in support of the movement. Comments, arguments and criticism are welcome.

P.S. All those who aren't interested in all this can find refuge here. Lennon had the uncanny habit of capturing the mood of the time.

The cacophony that religion is

I am irritated as hell and it’s got nothing to do with the general state of affairs around me, the BJP’s implosion, the weather or the creative hate mail on my posts. My frayed nerves are the result of the surrounding cacophony attacking my ears which has left my brain in permanent vibrator mode (that may explain this bewildering blog).

Last week I got a case of the sniffles. Nothing serious, just seasonal flu, which escalated my irritability levels by a few megahertz. So, early Saturday morning, as I lay in my bed(at home) cursing the world and its viruses, my peaceful reverie(an indication that I was not in the hostel, a place where nothing is ever peaceful, and you can accord that to the unusually small bed that I've got. Sleep, thus is a precious quantity. Twisted muscles of the neck aren't!) was interrupted by a violent clanging sound from the vicinity. A quick investigation from the window showed someone looking remarkably like a priest banging a metal plate outside the temple.

Apparently, it’s some new custom copied from neighbourhood schools to lure in devotees and torture every other soul who doesn’t believe in paying obeisance to the gods. My frantic and angry gestures from the balcony asking him to keep it down only escalated the volume and the situation(and my hatred towards God's own man's undiluted act of schedenfreude).

That brings me to a question, the answer to which I seek in all earnest: Why do all religions have to be so loud about their daily rituals? It’s a sensitive topic so I’ll have to tread lightly, lest I get lynched by some religious zealots on my way back to Bawana Land come Monday morning. I also know that temples, gurdwaras and mosques won’t tone down the volume because a certain short-tempered blogger has got the flu. That’s just wishful thinking.

Day in and day out, these places of worship scream their devotion all over the country. I don’t know for sure, but I have a strong feeling that God is not deaf. The priests, however, always turn a deaf ear to these sentiments. Perhaps all these priests and clerics have a secret deal with the ENT specialists of the country. You scratch my back and I’ll send you the hearing impaired.

Another theory could be that these gentlemen want to make the somewhat less devout feel guilty about not going to the temple. If I was in their place, I’d change tactics… this is only driving away the remaining atheists.

Then there are the jagarans(no, not the ones you generally associate with exams). It would seem that the gods are more alert at night. Therefore, screaming your lungs out after midnight is supposed to get you closer to moksha. I believe the Supreme Court has some guidelines about noise levels (religious or otherwise) after 9 pm. Unfortunately, this being a topic of faith, you won’t find too many people willing to take on a mob to uphold a law, yours truly included.

So, how does one sleep when a thousand tone-deaf people are shrieking out devotional songs in unison a few metres from your house. Simple. Invest in ear buds, put pillows over instead of under your head and spend thousands in soundproofing your house. The other option: shift home. Although I doubt the second option is practicable. Religious is ubiquitous, you see.

Another thing I’ve noticed (and I am moving into the rounded-up-and-beatean-up-risk zone again) is that few of these harmless devotees are aware of the harm they are doing to music lovers in the neighbourhood. It’s not just the decibel levels that leave you grimacing, but the murder of melody. Tansen and his ilk must be turning in their grave. I think I should record this mass murder and sell it to the CIA. After Abu Ghraib they must have been looking for new ways to torment prisoners.

Anyway, I need to go and have a man-to-man conversation with the neighbourhood priest. If I cant’t get him to pipe down, at least I can spread some seasonal flu and God-willing give him a sore throat. Just hope I don’t have to participate in a jagaran to get God to listen to me.

Pray!

Babloo hates them too!

'I hate politicians! I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!'

Babloo Arora is just a 10-year old school-going kid living in Delhi, but he has already learned how to hate politicians like all the adults in his family. Son of affluent businessman, Ranjit Arora who exports jewelry to east European countries, he believes politicians are responsible for all his troubles and hopes that by the time he has grown-up, India would become free of politicians.

"Yesterday, I got beaten up by my classmate after I stole his tiffin-box and ate his lunch' said Babloo, 'Bloody politicians! Why can't they introduce strict laws that would prevent school-children from beating up their classmates? We need laws that would allow school authorities to immediately rusticate students who use violence against their fellow students"

"There should be a limit on amount of home-work given to children too. My parents don't allow me to watch TV unless and until I finish my homework. Every second day I miss out on my favorite cartoon show because the damned homework takes so much long to complete. If our politicians were not preoccupied with making money, they would have noticed the tremendous amount of suffering children have to undergo due to ever increasing homework."

"But why would our politicians care about children? After all we don't have the right to vote like adults. Children are not their vote-banks!" rued Babloo.

Babloo is also upset at the inability of our politicians to control runaway inflation. "Earlier I was able to buy pizzas, burgers and diet cokes thrice every week. My pocket-money of Rs. 2000 every month also allowed me to buy at least 5 video game titles and 10-12 movie DVD's. But nowadays I'm forced to cut corners. I've cut down my pizzas and burgers consumption from thrice a week to twice a week. Thanks to inefficient politicians, I'm left with no choice but to beg my dad to increase my monthly pocket money by 500 rupees, if I want to continue playing same number of new video games on my playstation as before."

"Politicians have ruined my life!" added Babloo sobbingly, 'I would not be suffering the way I'm had it not been for complete and total abrogation of duty by politicians and their complete indifference to the plight of young children"

Asked to elaborate, Babloo said "My parents are very ambitious and want to see me on TV. They have huge expectations from me and wish to see me become a big television star. They have pressurized me into joining singing and dancing classes so that I can become trained enough to participate in reality shows. Now, I really love singing and dancing, but at the same time I'm scared to death of my parent's reaction if I fail to qualify for any TV show! Its high time our government bans reality shows on television featuring little children. But sadly, our politicians just don't care about the plight of children"

"When will our politicians wake up from their collective apathy and try to solve the complex problems that kids today are facing? How many kids will have to be lose their childhood to class-room violence, excessive homework, increasing inflation and song-n-dance television shows before our politicians wake up from their slumber and take decisive action to provide children with safety and security they deserve?"

Sigh. Another life, another story.

A trip down memory lane: Kasauli

You don't always need a sea for a change. Sometimes, 77 kilometres is more than enough.

Far away from chokehold of commercialised Shimla lies the quaint little town of Kasauli. Tucked away in a quiet hill of Himachal Pradesh and hidden and protected from vicious tourists and business minded gentry, this less known hill-station has all it takes for anyone to have an unadulterated experience of pure beauty. At 6,000 feet, adorned with tall and slender pine trees and the perennial burst of wild and ornamental flowers, Kasauli sure drugs the visitor with its scenic beauty and cooler climes. Lack of commercialization, and the fact that you can't buy land, seems to have no correlation with the eating joints here and perhaps this is what makes this place so stunning.

Kasauli is easily accessible by both road and rail. The nearest airport is at Chandigarh. Situated at a distance of around 325 km from New Delhi, the hill resort can be easily reached by hiring a bus or a taxi, from the inter-state bus terminals (ISBT). Buses, taxis and coaches are ready for hire from Chandigarh and Kalka as Kasauli lies en route to Shimla and the upper Himalayas. But I would suggest taking the toy train from Kalka, which is a one of it's kind experience when you travel with the hills and rich flora as companions and steep gorges as adversaries. These trains run in sync with the Kalka Mail that arrives at Kalka early morning each day. For Kasauli, you would have to get down at Dharmpur.

The town, that turned into a convalescent home for British nationals when they stemmed the growth of the ever-increasing hold of the Gurkhas in 1814, can easily cure writers, shutterbags, nature-lovers and birdwatchers of all their fastidious ailments and still leave them gasping for more. It's no surprise that the famous Indian author, Khushwant Singh often takes refuge in Kasauli whenever he wants his creative juices to get flowing.

Kasauli is far from being your archetypal hill station (although you still have Tibetians selling their wares!). It is small and can be traversed almost entirely on foot. It has a central area encompassed by two major roads- Upper Mall and Lower Mall. The Lower Mall has the bus stand and some shops, a photo studio and a departmental store. As you go higher up, a labyrinthine intersection of narrow roads takes you to the Upper Mall or to the children's park, Sanatorium and further on to the TV tower unfurling a couple of trekkable roads going further beyond. The Upper Mall - which is closer to the urban definition of a mall - is a small by-lane studded with stones with an amalgamation of small sweets shops, toy shops, a couple of shoe shops and the only barber shop of Kasauli.

Places to visit are few and far between in a place like Kasauli that is still nestled in the days of yore. Of greenery. Of peace. And most notably, of less concrete. At the juncture of the two Malls lies the "Church of England", a nineteenth century church built for the soldiers of the British garrison. At the end of the Upper Mall, sitting atop the Gilbert Hill, is Gilbert House, built as home to the first Brigadier of Kasauli. The bungalow today, hosts the current Brigadier. And according to lore, Gilbert's ghost is still 'seen' venturing out in the premises. Also named after Gilbert is the Gilbert trail, one of the numerous treks fraught with danger at every step and at every climb or descent. The odd hornet's sting or a wild plant's prick is bearable when weighed against the unmitigated beauty one witnesses on every bend. On it's way up the Upper Mall also lies the 120 year old Kasauli club, a sprawling complex with facilities to satiate any socialite. About 4 km from the Mall lies the Monkey/Manki point, an Air Force base that is known more for being home to notorious monkeys. Visitors are thus thoroughly frisked and not allowed to carry anything, and for more reasons than one! As you tread upon the direction the masses have taken, you will see a colourful temple perched on the top of a steep hill. However, it's your call whether you want to take the precipitous climb or not. Not far from Kasauli is the famous Lawrence School, Sanawar, one of the most famous boarding schools of the country.

Such a beautiful place, Kasauli's exquisiteness lies in its laid back nature. Look anywhere; shoot from any angle; or take any road through the whispering pines on both sides, the place has a naturally reassuring ambiance that, in a way -- I sure stumbled upon this feeling -- permeates into the skin and balms the soul.

P.S. : The credit for the first picture(and in fact, for the entire trip goes to Arjit Arora who will soon be here to revel in his day of glory!)

War of the words

While there are some who invent imaginative new words thereby contributing to the art of making language richer, there are others who self-appointedly sit on language monitoring committees to monitor the influx of new words and decide which new words deserve an entry in the hallowed English dictionaries. Who gavith them the right?

And then there is the Indian media, suffering from severe lack of sense of discrimination, which starts drooling with excitement whenever anything remotely connected to Indian cultural landmass gets approval from westerners. A press release by a little-known American company that makes money by monitoring new media for mentioning its clients, announcing the crowning of one millionth word should ordinarily have been brushed aside without a thought, but the inclusion of two words having an India-connection (Slumdog & Jai Ho) was enough enticement for our media to treat a publicity gimmick by a private company as yet another shining example of India's cultural impact on the world.

Would we have stopped using the words Slumdog or Jai Ho had this monitoring agency not included these words in its expanding list? Has our national pride suffered a dent because Slumdog is listed at 9,99,997 and not at 10,00,000? If not, why do such crappy crowning ceremonies conferring chance celebritiness to accidental new words become news?

As a response to such senseless pandering to juvenile fancies, I too have created my own list of new words and phrases that deserve an entry in the English dictionary.

Countupation - (noun - Counting clowns) - The silly and absolutely pointless occupation of keeping a count of new inclusions of items in a given branch of knowledge that are indelineatable due to lack of accepted and clear-cut criteria for inclusion or exclusion of such items in that branch of knowledge.

Languappropriate - Attempt to appropriate or assume pseudo-control/ownership of an entire language through insidious means such as setting up a language monitoring company, unauthorizedly taking up the role of deciding which words deserve an inclusion in official lexicon and pompously crowning words arbitrarily with meaningless titles.

Authoreverence - (reverence or worship of authority) Obsessive obeisance by mainstream media to traditional institutions of authority or institutions pretending to be institutions of authority (like Oxford English Dictionary, Global Language Monitor etc) while ignoring the contribution of popular barometers (such as Urbandictionary.com which boasts a dictionary of 4 million words) to the profusion of new words and phrases.

(National) Gloryearning - Excessive yearning or hankering for national glory. Often exhibited by media by giving over-importance to international competitions of no significance, and by treating every international contest featuring any person, product or an abstract idea related to the nation, however tangential the relation might be, as a matter of national pride and glory.

How this bill doesn't fit the bill

In what is being termed as India’s equivalent of the Suffrage Movement and the Maputo Protocol, the UPA Government has now promised reservation for women at each level of legislative decision-making, starting with the Lok Sabha, down to state and local legislatures in its 100-day action plan. The measure is a throwback to erstwhile Congress Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi's move in 1992 to earmark 33% of all seats for women in panchayats.

If the Bill is passed, one-third of the total available seats would be reserved for women in national, state, or local governments. In continuation of the existing provisions already mandating reservations for scheduled caste and scheduled tribes, one-third of such SC and ST candidates must be women.

The proposed legislation to reserve 33.3 percent seats in Parliament and state legislatures for women was drafted first by the H D Deve Gowda-led United Front government, introduced in the Lok Sabha on September 12, 1996. Though it has been introduced in Parliament several times since then, the Bill could not be passed because of lack of political consensus.

It looks like it is incumbent on political parties to score political brownie points by using the much talked about instrument of reservations. The issue of reservations has been a thorn in the side of every government since Independence. Why? Because, it a principle that is fundamentally wrong. And in order to implement a fundamentally wrong principle, one has to devise numerous irrational laws and devices to cloak the ugly core of the principle. A lie has to be covered with other lies. That's why reservation is a thorn.

What does one do when a thorn is stuck in one's foot? He plucks it out. And when are we plucking out the thorn of reservations? At present, it only looks like the policy-makers of the nation are only bent upon driving the thorn further into the foot.

The idea of reservations originated first in attempts to correct historical wrongs. That it doesn't accomplish that in any way, only aggravates differences between different 'groups' of people is a totally different issue. The concept of reservations is now being expanded to include current perceptions of injustice to certain sections of society, more precisely that section which is made of people of a particular sex, women.

Studies have proved that competitive pressures such as trade and deregulation reduce discrimination against women in the job market. That private companies, not cosseted by the Government, tend to choose the best talent without any prejudice is also a testimony to the fact that merit begets respect and opportunity.

This Bill takes away the democratic right of 33% of the electorate (22 crore people) to elect their representatives and restricts the choice of both men and women in those constituencies. The state has no right to limit the pool of representatives available to the public to choose from. It violates the right to equality guaranteed in the constitution. This is against all democratic principles of free choice. It will lead to significant upheavals and instability in Indian polity, with MPs being forced to shuffle constituencies in almost every election. An inability to nurture their constituency and further reduce accountability is thus, what we get.
The Bill sacrifices merit and experience of seasoned law makers and will further divide the country on gender lines. It suggests a rotation system which would be determined by draw of lots, in such a manner that a seat would be reserved only once in a block of three general elections. This is a serious flaw, insofar as it mechanically provides for entry of women members to fill one-third of vacancies in Lok Sabha and Vidhan Sabhas. This subverts the democratic process which is all about free choice vis-à-vis a mechanical action/ process.
The concept of reservation is an insult to women and their capability and perpetuates gender discrimination. Moreover, there are no measures to make sure that the benefits are received by the socially backward and underprivileged women, who really need them. It is hard to imagine how a normal woman who is brilliant, patriotic and honest and has the will to bring about change would be able to benefit from this move. Going through the labyrinthine and tedious, if not only useless, procedure of party politics is not the best way of ensuring that we get motivated leaders. And how individual candidates just serve to make up the numbers is there for all to see. There are no objective criteria to prevent the elite class or “creamy layer” of women from taking undue and unfair advantage of this legislation.

India is a vast country that is multi-cultural, multi-ethic, multi-lingual and with several groups, castes, sub-castes etc. Apart from beating the drum for reservations in general, the implementation of this bill would lead to more demands from various groups and sections of society for similar representation and it would be an open invitation for politicization of the representative form of Indian democracy. It will be a death blow to representation through constituencies.

In India, a man is presumed to be superior to a woman, not because of considerations of merit of thought, but by anatomical considerations. And the enforcement of such belief-systems upon women is carried out by persuasion, blackmail, threat of physical violence and sometimes direct bodily or psychological injury. So fighting such stupid beliefs should form the core of those want to uplift conditions of women. Education and removal of old 'anti-women' concepts and strict law enforcement can make a woman walk confidently on the streets. And achieve what she wants without help or interference from any external sources. If such conditions ensue, why will women ask for reservations?

Yet the proponents of the Womens' Reservation Bill propose to fight injustice with injustice. They are feeding the prejudices of the patriarchal sections of society by supporting such a bill. They want to plant puppets like Rabri Devi in 182 seats in Parliament and gloat over their victory in their struggle for 'equal opportunities' with men.

This bill is short-sighted, unconstitutional, undemocratic and discriminatory.

Do give it fair thought before branding me a misogynist.

(And no, I’m not exactly Lalu Prasad Yadav’s fan!)

Insanity rules? Ok!

Much as I am dejected by India's loss in the 20-20 World Cup, after our surprise elimination from the tournament we were expected to win, what bothers me much more is the way aspersions are cast on the team. What bothers me is that national dailies - which boast of having on board, the game's stalwarts and insightful columnists - run headlines like 'Team lets nation down' and 'Captain cool or captain lose?'.

The dominant reactions to the defeat seem to be one of anger and betrayal. Anger is a complicated emotion. It's not clear what causes and is caused by anger. There are broadly two methods that people employ to vent their anger. More sophisticated of these are acerbic rants, while others are unabashed physical gestures.

Let's say there are two categories of anger: personal and impersonal. The former is caused by things that have immediate relevance to you (your newspaper delivery boy is lazy) and the later by things with no or very little relevance to you (your friend's newspaper delivery boy is lazy). To be sure, this is not very well defined, but I am concentrating one one single aspect which will be clearer.

Both these angers are perfectly justifiable. The crucial difference between them is what you do about it. First there are some absolute limits on what you can do. For instance, you can't destroy the home of the newspaper boy. Within those limits, personal anger gives you more scope for action. You can fire your newspaper boy. But the impersonal anger almost never permits action. While you can urge your friend to fire his newspaper boy, you can't do so yourself.

The anger generated in many fans by Indian team's loss is impersonal. This is the case even though it may be true that the team's performances are key to many of the fans' happiness. This impersonal anger surely allows for serious criticism, but much of what we see today is unwarranted. Here is where the thin line of difference between the anger and the betrayel gets blurred. It has to be remembered: the Indian team is not responsible to its fans. (That a fan needs to stand by his team in hours of victory and defeat can be left unsaid in the current climes anyway.) This might sound sacrilegious in today's atmosphere of affected jingoism, but it is true. If the Indian team has the power to cause a fan intense shame and misery, that power is given to them by the fan. The team did not ask for it. The fan can take that power away from the cricketers if he wishes. The fact that cricketers make insane amounts of money is not germane to the issue. Neither is it correct to argue that a cricketer's basking in the glory when he does well requires him to take the obscenities thrown at him when he doesn't. The Indian cricket team does not represent India's pride. Anyone purporting to derive national glory or shame on the basis of cricket team's results is a fool. (Take note, Hero-Honda, Pepsi and others of the ilk!)

It seems to me that this whole affair is symptomatic of a disturbing trend that is emerging in India. Many of the new habits and practices are characterized by instant gratifications and even more instant disillusionment. Shortsightedness isn't just prevalent, it is rampant. Gone in the process are the balancing convictions afforded either by ancient culture, or a thorough education. This is apparent everywhere one sees. In cricket, a player is lifted to the sky after a handful of good performances and his effigies are burnt after a single bad show. Whether it is the national obsession with daily junk on television, or the eager rush to modify education to suit the immediately visible needs, what seems to drive people today is the expedience of the moment.

Does insanity rule?

Think.

Can pigs fly?

Can pigs fly? I think not. But how can I be so sure? If I’m pigheaded enough, I can start throwing pigs off a cliff and after an agreed upon number of pigs have turned to pork down below, I can say with almost certainty that porcine flight is impossible. The downside to this method is not that too many pigs are killed to prove a point, but that for believers of flying pigs, too few will have been tested before we, considered as anti-flying pig bigots, come to a conclusion. (‘The next one could have been the pig, you know.’)

Another way to prove that pigs don’t fly could be to read the scriptures, the law if you will. For instance, if those awaiting proof are believing Christians, then the tactic could be to read out Chapter 8 Verse 32 of the Book of Matthew in the Bible: “And he said unto them, Go. And when they were come out, they went into the herd of swine: and, behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea, and perished in the waters.” Not one pig fluttered to safety there.

The downside to this method is that it’s fundamentally stupid: to gather a fact by what’s simply mentioned in a fable, no matter how sacred and profound the fable may be, is a leap of faith not too unlike that taken by the swine mentioned above.

So what’s with all this pig metaphor? Has the swine flu over the cuckoo’s nest? Or am I reading too much into one of Floyd's most cogent creations? No, it’s just that I’ve been going mad cow trying to figure out why otherwise bright sparks have been going on and on about how abnormal it is for 26/11 terrorist Ajmal Kasab to plead ‘not guilty’ during his ongoing trial. Why would a guilty man, they ask in that gobsmacked way that will become a look by the next fashion season, tell a court that he’s not guilty? Because, honeys, that’s what most people accused of committing crimes do: say they’re innocent.

The smart set’s not only upset by Kasab’s plea of ‘not guilty’ but is also appalled that someone, an Indian to boot, is defending him. Surely, they murmur, Kasab’s (first) lawyer Abbas Kazmi would be just pretending to defend his client and actually hanging out with and helping the prosecutor to nail the bastard, right? Or Anjali Waghmare -the now done with lawyer- secretly be an accomplice in hatching a plot to plot the downfall of one of India's most 'celebrated' terrorist captive. Expectedly, the villagers with their pitchforks are baying for blood. The Islam Gymkhana in Mumbai had expelled Kazmi as he “agreed to defend the most dreaded terrorist Kasab. This is against the essence of Islam”. Will the Koran ever be used to defend terrorism again? Never! Only club rules apply. Just to prove he isn’t above loving ‘patriotic Muslims’, Shiv Senapati Balasaheb Thackeray has endorsed the Gymkhana decision.

Anjali Waghmare was done with, for her apparent inability to comply to court rules or what, one might never be able to tell. In any case, she had her house pelted with stones by a mob. I believe that Waghmare was taken off the case of her own volition and not because of the technical reason cited: because she is also representing a 26/11 victim, she couldn’t be defending Kasab. Hmm. If a lawyer is seen to be professional enough to keep her personal views about a terrorist outside the court and defend him, why is prosecuting and defending the accused in two separate cases such a legal taboo?

So what about the pigs? Well, ‘Is Kasab guilty?’ is as tough a question to answer as ‘Can pigs fly?’ But according to the law, that secular scripture we bow to whenever it suits us, you need to jump through a set of agreed-upon hoops before effectively proving that Kasab is a guilty man. It doesn’t matter a bacon-nibbling rat’s ass if it seems obvious to you and me that Kasab’s a mass-killer who brought India to its knees. A good defendant can upset all expectations by arguing that the prosecutor’s evidence simply doesn’t add up. That’s his job. And that’s what makes a trial in this country legit and not an ‘Off with their heads!’ procedure.

And what about us(who the "usses" really are is open to debate)? Are we being so kind in showing our magnanimity to the 'poor' old fellow who showed just how vulnerable India is? Or are we just procrastinating the inevitable in order to prove just how pro-Tiananmen we are, in the current scheme of things?

We, in my humble opinion as I might add here, are like a pig in the middle, caught between what has been a rigid and redundant labyrinth of procedures and a compulsion to prove how we, as a nation, are prone to bootlick that phrase called 'democracy'. The general opinion(the democratic opinion, if it can be called that) is that Kasab is a mass murderer without even hinting at the literal meaning that his name connotes. Yet, we continue to act like young hypocrites at the DU. I wouldn't want to, but given to my tendency of digressing, I shall. The HT City 'reported' recently that young men joining the DU were planning attend their first few days at college in big, swanky cars and NOx guzzling superbikes, or 'Boy's Toys', as you might like to call them. The concerned females accepted that this does manage to attract their attention, afterall, name and fame corrupt anyone. But she(the individual in question) was quick to add that she would turn down-pretty nonchalantly at that- any proposal if she were to learn that the guy didn't "own" the car/bike but had bought it to impress her. Wanting to hang Kasab without a trial, after we're all human, and yet giving him a fair chance to prove he's not guilty. Fair and square? Surely.

I want Kasab to hang. I hope Kasab will hang. That’s why I’m so keen the trial is conducted quarantined from the pandemic hoopla surrounding it. That’s also why I don’t want the prosecution to screw things up.

Till then, pig it!

Of Bootfluenza and the Fourth Estate

Mr. Shoe is gaining in popularity as a political missile. Mr. Shoe might have been thrown-in to 'meet' people before. But in his new found avatar, Mr. Shoe has caught the imagination of the media and the public alike. Suppressed grievances are brought to the fore by giving Mr. Shoe some air!

Feeling helpless? Go chuck him at someone! After Muntazar Al-Zaidi bootslapped Bush, Mr. Shoe in flight has become the weapon of the powerless.

Compared to a bullet or a bomb, the shoe is as harmless as a flower(only as long as your olfactory nerves are jammed!). Its impact is mild, its range is limited(no stilettos please). It is the common man’s weapon or missile where ever or whenever his shoe pinches. There are times when even pebbles or stones may not be readily available, unless you have hidden them in your pocket, to be used against political adversaries as a part of advance planning. But the shoe is there under one’s foot always ready to fly, if lobbed by the wearer as an impromptu release of ire. Indeed, Mr. Shoe has grown in eminence!

There is a time and place for everything. For the shoe throw, the venue of a press conference, attended by a dignified authority or person seems appropriate. In the present climate, shoe throwing has become a winsome gesture, a stunt that surely wins some (un)deserved publicity. Afterall, it takes quite a lot to remove your footwear and bear those pungent heavens while your footwear lies close to the cynosure of the public assembly!

The thrower may be pardoned, if lucky, or if the social or political gap between the thrower and the person targeted is wide enough for a show of magnanimity. Or the law may take its course. But the thrower is amply compensated by the publicity netted. The shoe throw requires no skills; no training. The shoe need not even hit the person. But its direction should leave no one in doubt about the person intended as victim.

Some say demand for easily removable shoes has increased, after the recent events. Those wearing boots no longer tie the lace, to save time when a throw is needed. Suspicions about the inclusion of the up-to-the-minute "shoe-a-thon" as the shoe-stopper in the 2010 CW Games are rife!

The next parliament may legislate on the issue of the shoe. America should ban the sale of easily-removable-and-throwable shoes for not every President is as adept at dodging Hush Puppies(and other concerns) as Bush. For attending functions where dignitaries are present, people may be required to leave their shoes outside before entering the premises. Do we not remove footwear when entering temples and certain marked areas, even though there is no law but only convention?

I don’t say shoes have not been hurled at each other by people earlier. But what makes it sensational are the personalities, occasion, context, issue involved etc. There is a time and place for every thing. Changes in these can create sensations. Throwing a shoe on a common man walking on the road is no great event. Who cares?

The shoe industry may undergo drastic changes in the light of the shoe throw politics. The design, weight, color and many other parameters may need attention.

In the past, rotten eggs, tomatoes, pebbles, paper weights, books, cups, bottles, plates and anything which can be lifted and thrown have been used as projectiles. But the shoe throw is different. Oiling the wheels of this much-acclaimed endeavour are sites like www.shoeandawe.com which choose to pay homage to those great men-at-"arms".

Here the shoe is used as a symbol of religious or political dislike and hatred. The contrast between the humble shoe and the ambitious throne it wants to occupy makes for much publicity. Above all there is the surprise element involved. It should be most unexpected and sudden. Some applaud the feat in private, while condemning it openly. Media display it as if it were a heroic deed!

It is an insult to the intellegentsia to equate shoe-throwing with democracy. At best, these shoe chuckers are attention-seeking individuals. They give bad name to the virtue of.

While it might be true that the ban on Jagdish Tytler owes its existence to everyone's recent interest in a certain someone's shoes, this embrace of vigilante justice is an extremely dangerous trend and one which is truly unbecoming of a healthy democracy. A true democracy hinges on the dictum of public opinion formed not as after-effects of a shoe-gate but of the analysis carried out by free-thinking men. Politicians should be wary of commiting atrocities not because they fear being hit by a shoe in public but because they should fear being exposed and excommunicated from the entire politcal setup.

If the journalist who threw his size-nine Reebok at the Home Minister was just an ordinary citizen who took such action on one of Delhi’s streets then perhaps it could be argued that he simply has no decency. But for a news reporter to take such action is a matter that should be condemned. That he chose to use shoes over words, forgetting that journalism does not debate and communicate using violence and vulgarity is an insult to the profession of journalism and an indicator that the nature of journalism has been misunderstood.

These words are not in defense of Chidambaram; they come in defense of our culture that does not approve of such behavior. These words are for defending the profession of journalism that is beginning to suffer from a lack of professionalism. A journalist is expected to voice his concerns by posting pithy, quick witted questions, aimed at facilitating cognitive thinking. However this journalist, who today has the right to ask questions and to hold a politician responsible and remind him of his lies, decides not to do that; he decides that shoes were powerful than words, reason and argument, as this is some people’s idea of democracy. No civilized society can forgive this way of expressing disapproval in a democracy.

If it is a sign of the times, then it is time to change! This again is a case of wrong means to reach the right ends. Can we change? What would you do if you were in Jarnail Singh's shoes?

Ponder.

Au revoir!

Make sense of this.

Get-up-and-go!

Warning: Continue only if your brain is in its right place. Seriously!
Thug.. thug.. thug.. and the fan comes to a whining halt as does everything else with no electricity.. no fuel.. no power..

Our world is heading towards a severe energy crisis due to our desperate need to consume more energy than can be produced. While we all are aware that the energy we use is not limitless, we continue to take it for granted. Gas, power, oil, even water has limited availability. Nevertheless, we are unprepared for the energy crisis that will inevitably occur. The responsibility is not only the governments, but every man, woman, and child.

Gas and oil prices have already skyrocketed, and as each day dawns, they are getting closer to extinction. There are some misinformed people who believe the energy crisis is a myth. Burying one's head in the sand when the hunter is hot on your heels should be left to the ostrich! The prices have been rapidly escalating over the course of the past five years, due to an increase in demand and the decline of energy resources specifically- crude oil supply problems, rapidly escalating demand for energy, energy pricing policies, oil import quotas, lack of incentives to invest in domestic energy facilities, and depletion of domestic oil and gas reserves to name a few.

In this post however, I wouldn't indulge in the unneeded act of adding a few more strokes to the already dark picture that has been painted so many times by so many. I would prefer to point out what could, no SHOULD be done.

The right energy policy for a nation must aim to satisfy energy needs of current and future generations of all citizens in an affordable manner without adverse impact on the environment. In today's world, mere domestic availability of a particular fuel may not ensure access of modern energy services to all. A nation requires a range of resources in the entire energy supply chains--primary energy, financial capital, material and human capabilities for development and manufacture of relevant technological systems, and logistical infrastructure for delivery--to make available useful energy to its citizens at affordable costs over a long period of time.

An energy policy aimed at long term affordability, clean environment, sustainability and security must be centered on a wide mix of renewable energy options- solar, wind, small-hydel, biomass and others. Wide mix of renewables is necessary to ensure reliability of supplies and avoid possible fallout of dependence on single option like bio-fuels. Therefore, to begin with, India must change its energy strategy towards one that places the highest priority on renewable energy by committing huge resources for up-scaling infrastructure for manufacture and supply of technologies for production of electricity, heat and other end-use energy from solar, wind, biomass and small-hydel resources. Agreed, setup of a coal powered power plant is atleast 20 times cheaper than that of a wind powered one, but with careful planning and skillful management it can be ensured that in the long run, the alternative sources prove to be profitable along with taking care of the crisis part.

State support must be provided to build dispersed infrastructure in rural areas for delivery and maintenance of these systems. Systems based on clean coal and natural gas, given their current domestic availability and low capital cost respectively, can play stopgap role in the transitory phase until delivery infrastructure based on renewables is put in place.

Meanwhile, research on newer sources of energy must carry on. The microbes that churn out inexpensive bio-fuels and bugs that eat waste and excrete petrol should not be left alone to the confines of PhD papers locked up in stacks of dusty files in some corner of the laboratory store rooms.

In addition to changing energy supply mix, drastic end-use and life-style changes that cut down energy use will be necessary. Examples are: new urban planning with homes closer to offices, excess public transport capacities, and promotion of local markets and local materials to avoid long distance transport. But these changes cannot come by market economics alone. Governments need to intervene now to make them economically attractive in the future.

To sign off, energy crisis is a common problem. It needs an even handed solution. Any strategy should be thoroughly taken into account. The energy and food crisis is a threat to domestic and international political and economic system. If the crisis is not resolved, world wide recession is imminent. There is a need to devise short, mid and long-term strategies particularly by developing countries like India to absorb the skyrocketing prices and ensure a bright future.

Hasta la Vista!

The Indian soldier- Lost in the sands of time, is he?

They justified the cause for which Daddy might give up his life
It's been so long, so long a time, still I miss Daddy at night..

At the eastern end of the Rajpath, looming over the festivities, come every January, is the massive shape of India Gate, a triumphal arch 40 metres high, bearing the inscription "To the Dead of the Indian Armies who fell and are honoured in France and Flanders, Mesopotamia, East Africa and Gallipoli". Beneath are the names of 85,00

0 soldiers who died for the British Empirein the First World War. For anyone raised on Kipling's tales of the Raj, the names alone stir the blood: 3rd Skinners Horse, Rajput Light Infantry, 129th Baluchis, 13 Frontier Force Rifles; and the military ranks, subedars and sepoys and havaldars; and above all, the names of the men - distinctively Hindu, Muslim, Sikh and British. As I walk past the hallowed gateway this fine summer evening, I wonder why India's numerous patriots are so silent when it comes to honouring their soldier. Why is there never any public clamour for a national memorial for the soldier? Where do our leaders and people vanish on Remembrance Day (yes, we do have one on January 30)? These are just some of the questions that come to my mind as But it rained rings in my ears and sends that dreaded chill down my spine.

Honouring servicemen is a time-honoured tradition in most countries of the world. In Britain, November 11 is traditionally Remembrance Day. The erstwhile Soviet Union lost over 20 million men in the Second World War, or the 'Great Patriotic War' as the Soviets called it. Every town and city has its war memorial and as a part of a touching tradition, the first visit of all couples after their marriage ceremony is to the war memorial. Each year, on the last Monday in May, the United States celebrates Memorial Day. Memorial Day has traditionally been a day of remembering the many heroes who lost their lives during the Civil War and other wars in which the United States has been involved. People visit cemeteries, war memorials and monuments to the many soldiers, sailors and airmen who were lost in action and lay flowers at these sites in their memory. There is, of course, no dearth of such memorials and statues in other countries as well.
Snap back to reality. India has fought many wars since Independence and lost many jawans, sailors and airmen in them. A few questions cloud my mind as I try to recollect in vain, the name of the street in New Delhi where India's war memorial built after Independence is situated. How many streets, flyovers, tunnels, ports or airports have been named after India’s war heroes?

Everyone knows the answers to these questions. Shamefacedly, we have to admit that our concern for the jawan vanishes the day the action is over and he returns to the barracks. The country makes much of its armed forces before and during a battle, not afterwards. It is an unfortunate fact that except for those put up by the soldiers themselves in army cantonments; there are no monuments in memory of jawans even in the nation's capital. All you have is figures of the leech-like politicians gracing every alternate corner and that I-know-you-hate-me-but-I'm-the boss smile staring into your face from a decent ten feet or more!

You maybe getting me wrong if you think that honouring your soldier is confined to just naming your neighbourhood park or the roads in your city in his hounour. But, it surely is a way of reminding you of the great sacrifice they have made, giving up the years of their prime for the safety of you and me. Spare a thought for their families, many of them still waiting with that flicker of a hope to see their sons and fathers and brothers just once more. The men have not only defended their country bravely, but are always prepared to lay down their lives for its independence. In return, they ask only that they and their families not be forgotten in times of peace.

But sadly, like in many other things, we tend to be fickle in our love and devotion for the jawan. For every soldier who lost his life, thousand others also fought just as bravely. And what about those who laid down their lives in lost causes? What about the many prisoners of war still struggling for a morsel in Pakistani jails? On what basis do human rights activists (the most ignorant and hypocritic men of all) claim justice for the terrorists and let our soldiers go to dogs?

The people who have been waiting for their families ten years ago are now older, others must be dead. As I them on television as a backdrop to the token talks, I felt even more helpless as I recalled the wrinkled face of one Mr. Datta, a next door neighbour of mine. Imagine you were the father and someone knocked on your door and told you that your son was dead, and that they had attended his cremation and condolence meeting. What would you do?
A certain Major A.K. Venugopal’s story is more or less similar. At the end of the 1971 Indo-Pak war the family was informed that he be presumed dead. Sometime later his wife wrote to the commanding officer saying that if her husband was cremated with full military honours his ashes should be sent to her. Amazingly, she got the urn only one year after the request. No one believed it. Tangible proof was missing. Major Venugopal’s brother, A.Venugopal, an ex-warrant officer, was incredulous at the blatant absence of credibility. “After an officer dies there are a number of his men who are prepared to accompany his cortege to his home, and the government does not incur any extra expenditure. Later, however, we were told about his whereabouts. Obviously someone was trying to save his skin.”

If the treatment meted out to our heroes and martyrs is bad, the fate of those who serve silently and then retire is worse. Nowhere in the world are ex-servicemen treated as indifferently as they are in this country.

Today, the country stands silent. Not one political party has included the return of our POWs in its manifesto. Why? Have our defense personnel become pawns? Why hasn’t a single government delegation gone to  Pakistan? What have our various ambassadors done?

What about public opinion? Do we care? Are defense scams all that the Armed Forces are about? And are we more interested in scoring points over our neighbour rather than trying to get back what is ours – the war hero? Does not the irony of this phrase hit us in the face anymore?